Dear readers,
After twenty-one articles on Parenting, I have decided to respond to some of the more frequent questions I’ve received over the past four months. Additionally, I’m including a list of all the Parenting emails that have been sent out. We’ll continue the regular emails next week IY”H. YR How long does it take to answer each question you receive? It really depends on how difficult the issue raised in the question is, although an average is about 4-5 hours. Private questions that I respond to take considerably less time. Once I finish writing, I have someone review and proofread. If I think it may be controversial, I send it to either my Rav, or an appropriate professional. For example, the article about dealing with trauma was sent for advice and review to one of the top social workers at Chai Lifeline. Why don’t my comments appear in the Comments section? Having a Comments section always scares me. Unfortunately, some people use the shield of anonymity to post things on the internet that they would not say under ordinary circumstances. Therefore, I review every comment before it gets posted. Any comment that I feel is at all negative or condescending gets rejected. For example, this past week, one person replied, “That’s so stupid” to an earlier comment. Obviously, that’s unacceptable and it gets rejected. Additionally, commenters who want to be posted must be signed up for the emails. How come you haven’t answered my question? I have hundreds of unanswered questions. If you request a public answer, it’ll take some time until I get to it. If you would like a faster response, click the “Private Response” checkbox. How come you don’t allow individuals or companies to sponsor the weekly emails? When I began this advice forum four months ago, I made a commitment not to allow sponsors or advertisements for at least the first year. Many companies have offered to advertise, but I didn’t start this as a commercial enterprise and I don’t think I’m ready for that. I also will not sell this email list, or send more than one email per week. Are there any emails that you won’t answer? Yes. When an email contains information that I feel is extremely urgent or sensitive, I reply back with the names of either a Rav or appropriate professional. The goal of these emails is to assist others in Parenting, not to solve immediate and/or delicate issues. Additionally, any email that I think would be inappropriate to share, I reply privately. What is the most common email you receive? Believe it or not, it’s a question that I won’t ever answer publicly. “My husband is a poor role model. How can I explain to my children that he’s doing the wrong thing?” These types of questions are more about marriage than parenting. When a couple is not working together, it makes parenting much trickier, and I would often suggest counseling for the parents first. What’s the funniest email you’ve ever received? I received the following email from a 14-year-old girl: “Rabbi Ross. My parents think they know everything. They also are trying to live vicariously through me, and are projecting their emotions and attitudes on me. What do you suggest?” For some reason, I always get a kick out of reading that one. I hope you all have a wonderful Shabbos. YR Boys & Dolls Kids & Trauma Jealous Kids Single Parenting She's a Slob My son's a Bully Shul Time Electronics Part One Electronics Part Two My Son acts like a Baby Seder Time My Angry Son Hitting Part One Hitting Part Two Purim Hints and Cheats Rebbe Issues Fighting Kids My Son is Lying My Child resents Shabbos Friend Issues My Son hates Homework
22 Comments
Elisheva D.
7/14/2016 07:35:01 pm
Seems like you're taking a vacation for a week. I'm sure that this week's email didn't take so long to put together. Have a good shabbis.
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Rabbi Ross
7/14/2016 07:44:05 pm
Actually, I still needed to choose the questions, get it edited, and set it up. However, it was certainly easier.
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Jason
7/14/2016 07:36:05 pm
I saw the article in the 5 Towns Jewish Times, but they had the wrong week? What gives?
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Rabbi Ross
7/14/2016 07:44:55 pm
I'm not sure. I think it was a one-time print.
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Rivka M.
7/14/2016 07:36:38 pm
That 14 year old better not have been my daughter. I better check her e-mail!
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Shmuel Aryeh
7/14/2016 07:37:50 pm
You are spot on regarding the difference between Shalom Bayis and Parenting. Many parents confuse the two.
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Miri
7/14/2016 07:38:51 pm
I checked public answer because I thought my question was a common one. Now I have to wait longer for a reply. Is there anyway to check both?
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Rabbi Ross
7/14/2016 07:45:47 pm
I hear your point. If a private question is very common, I'll usually ask permission and post it with some modified information.
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Gila Davidowitz
7/14/2016 07:39:24 pm
Thanks for the links. I'm printing them all out.
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Rabbi Ross
7/14/2016 07:46:22 pm
You can always view them by clicking on the blog link on www.yidparenting.com.
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Chaya Mushka
7/14/2016 08:14:34 pm
I didn't get the email yet, so I came here to read the article. I am guilty of asking why my question wasn't answers. Thank you for your hard work!
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Rabbi Ross
7/15/2016 12:13:41 am
I apologize, the mailing company was having an issue. Have a good Shabbos
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David L.
7/14/2016 08:46:32 pm
I would have no problem if the emails were sponsored. You deserve to be compensated for your time.
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Aliza
7/14/2016 08:47:03 pm
What was the response to the 14 year old girl?
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Rabbi Ross
7/15/2016 12:14:33 am
It was a private response, but the gist of it was that she needed to communicate her feelings, and many other teenagers feel the same way.
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Michael
7/14/2016 09:01:28 pm
I'll let it slide this time. Next time you skip a week, we'll have to file a complaint. Seriously speaking, thank you for your hard work!
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Rabbi Ross
7/15/2016 12:15:04 am
Thank you for your understanding. :-)
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Zev Lesser
7/14/2016 10:19:31 pm
It's interesting that the question is about the husband not being the role model. Is that the way it's usually phrased?
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Rabbi Ross
7/15/2016 12:15:56 am
Yes, but that could simply be due ti the fact that mothers write in more frequently.
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Private
7/14/2016 10:57:34 pm
I've said this many times, but I'll repeat. These articles, and I mean every one of them, are fantastic. It's apparent that you work hard on them, and the Jewish community benefits tremendously. Thank you.
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A. F.
7/15/2016 07:05:33 am
You don't reply to emails that are urgent? What does that mean? Just curious.
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Private
7/15/2016 07:07:53 am
You are absolutely correct about the comments. It's like driving a car. Once people think no one knows them, they develop a personality shift. These sweet people become ferocious. I'm glad you're moderating so carefully. Great emails by the way.
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AuthorRabbi Yitzie Ross is a Rebbe and has been working with parents and kids for many years. You can read more about him in the "about" section. Archives
March 2020
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