It was a little over a year ago when Yidparenting began. Originally meant for a small group of parents, it has, Baruch Hashem, blossomed into an article read by many people weekly. However, over the past few months, I’ve noticed a certain disturbing trend which I would like to address.
There are many types of Jews. Some men wear a Gartel when they Daven, some don’t even wear a hat. Some women wear a sheitel, some a tichel, and some don’t cover their hair at all. Nonetheless, they’re all still Jews. Sometimes we need to take a step back and understand that we’re all on the same team. You might be wondering why I’m bringing this up. Allow me to explain. About three months ago, I began receiving emails that really bothered me. Here’s a sample of a few of them: “I am greatly confused about your Shul article. Who cares if the kids go to Shul? Half of the adults don’t Daven. This is a non-issue. People need to chill out a bit, being overly religious becomes fanatical.” “I can’t believe you’re advocating kids having smart phones. They are tools of the Yetzer Hara! I’m quite disgusted!” “Please write an article about girls dressing more Tzniusdik in the street. It’s really horrible!” “I’m writing regarding your article about music. Do you really think it’s a bad thing for kids to listen to non-Jewish music? What’s the problem with it? What’s next – wearing a shtreimel?” My Bubby, A”H, used to tell me, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all!” If other Jews are not 100% like you, does that make them wrong? Aren’t we supposed to be understanding? I have seen Gedolai Yisrael talking to Jews that were not religious. They didn’t seem to be judging them. Does sending your son to a particular Yeshiva make him a better Jew? On the flip side, if there is a Jew that wants his son to wear a black hat, why does it bother you? I was flabbergasted when I got a call last week from a friend who told me, “Frummies are taking over the 5 towns!” How does this relate to parenting, you might ask? It’s pretty simple. Good parents don’t judge other people. They teach their children to be tolerant of others, and they lead by example. Making a comment, or even rolling your eyes when someone is different than you, is a horrible idea. Let’s work together, in unity, to bring Moshiach. Being understanding of others is a great starting point, and smart parenting. Next week, the article will address a fascinating question about Shabbos activities. I hope you all enjoy. Have a great Shabbos
14 Comments
Chavi
3/2/2017 11:04:38 pm
No comments last week. I was getting nervous. This article is so sad and true.
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R.L.
3/2/2017 11:05:15 pm
You are so right about the Gedolim. They never judge, what gives us the right? Very nice.
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Shloimy S.
3/2/2017 11:08:36 pm
Your bubby was correct. If only people understood it. No need to be nasty.
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David W.
3/2/2017 11:10:57 pm
You are too Modest. Judging from the people that I speak to, there are many many people that read your articles. This is a fantastic project.
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Rena
3/2/2017 11:13:47 pm
Let me tell you something. This is a long time coming. You can't believe how many times I have people make cynical remarks about my kids because they go to a more Yeshivish School. We're all in this together is a fact!
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Evelyn Lesser
3/2/2017 11:27:49 pm
Rabbi Ross, thank you for this. Now, post this around the world. When there is infighting, it takes away from all of is and makes us weaker. Some of your articles don't apply to me, but I enjoy them anyway. Continued Brachos to you and your family.
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Shayna L.
3/2/2017 11:29:32 pm
Wonderful as usual. I'm reading this to my kids also.
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R.P.
3/2/2017 11:32:15 pm
I actually cried reading this. What is wrong with us? I can totally imagine those emails you received coming form people that I know. Oy.
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Private
3/2/2017 11:55:20 pm
I am honestly not surprised. We pretend that we're so easy going and loving, but the second we're behind closed walls, we become downright nasty. This is a parenting issue, and a big one. I'm with you!
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Tvegh
3/3/2017 08:20:10 am
Very well said! Jews are Jews they come in all colors shapes and sizes!!
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A Happy Mother
3/3/2017 08:22:02 am
Well said. Our kids learn by example and we must be more tolerant of others.
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Estie M.
3/3/2017 08:42:37 am
I agree with everything you wrote. Our Gedolim love all Jews, yet for some reason we feel the need to be critical. Maybe it's something lacking within ourselves that we feel the need to attack others.
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Parent
3/3/2017 11:43:57 am
Not only are you correct, but I would go a step further. Judging others unfavorably causes internal rifts in your own family. That's why my siblings and I don't get along.
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Tia Baumohl
3/4/2017 08:29:15 pm
So refreshing to hear this perspective. 100%, we teach through modeling! How can we preach acceptance and love to our kids if we are showing hate and negativity. Hashem, in His infinite wisdom, made us all so different. The only logical reason to expect or desire people to be exactly like us, is if we are insecure in our own choices or personal preferences. We should focus on being comfortable and OK with the things we are doing and pretty much mind our own business! Well said!
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AuthorRabbi Yitzie Ross is a Rebbe and has been working with parents and kids for many years. You can read more about him in the "about" section. Archives
March 2020
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