Parshas Pekudai - 5776
Help! My kids (ages 4,7,9 & 12) don’t stop fighting! I really think that my kids fight more than any other siblings in the world ever did, and I feel like I’m losing control. We’re talking fights about who sits where, who played more iPad, and even who’s annoying whom. I’m all ears for some suggestions. Estie - Cedarhurst
I highly doubt the fighting is the worst I’ve ever heard of between siblings. Many years ago, when Hashem created the world, there were two siblings named Kayin and Hevel. How did that work out? How about Yitzchok & Yishmael? Yaakov & Eisav? Yosef and his brothers? I could keep going, but you get the point. Throughout history we find that siblings sometimes don’t get along.
It seems that you are dealing with the same issues that just about all parents confront. Your kids fight non-stop, and you are getting frustrated. The good news is; in most cases they will grow out of it. I fought with my siblings more than once in a while, and now we get along great.
All this notwithstanding, it can be so exasperating watching kids argue or fight. In most cases, there is an instigator and a “victim”. Often that child (the victim) feels the need to defend himself, and will resort to using his hands. So it begins.
Telling your child to ignore a sibling that’s annoying or irritating them is very difficult. These days, kids are more sensitive. It could be due to the decreasing amount of social interactions, but children seem to have a more difficult time ignoring others.
In any case, I’ll give you a few ideas on how to be proactive and prevent the fighting/arguing, and some other hints on what to do when the fighting does occur.
IY”H, your kinderlach will get older and mature, and will truly enjoy spending time with their siblings.
Rabbi Yitzie Ross is a Rebbe and has been working with parents and kids for many years. You can read more about him in the "about" section.