Dear Rabbi Ross. I cannot afford to give my children's Rebbeim a significant amount of money as a Chanukah gift. In your opinion, should I give a $10 check, or is it better to just write a Thank You card. Should I write, or should I let my kids write? Private - Inwood.
Regardless of the amount that a parent is able to give, a thoughtful card is appreciated and cherished by both Rebbeim and Teachers. If your children are mature enough to express why they appreciate their Rebbe, let them write it. If your child cannot express himself, or adequately express the level of gratitude that you are trying to share, it might be better if you write it. There are parents that write a beautiful note and then include a small letter or picture from their child, depending on their age. If your son's Rebbe is an "OK" Rebbe, a simple card saying, “Thank you”, with a check, is fine. However, if your son's Rebbe is a dynamic Rebbe who gives his all, you might want to be more expressive with your note of thanks. You can possibly even explain your situation, depending of course on your comfort level. You can write, "Although our current circumstances don't allow us to give much money, we are so grateful for your tremendous efforts on behalf of our children". Lastly, the way a card/gift is presented to the Rebbe also makes an impact. If you are sending it with your child to school, teach them the proper way to give a gift to the Rebbe. Your child should walk over to the Rebbe before class starts, put the envelope on his desk, and say, "Thank you". Wishing you all a wonderful Shabbos and a Freilichen Chanukah. YR
16 Comments
Milty
12/29/2016 09:54:21 pm
What's with the delay? Kidding. A bit late on this concept. I already gave too much! Ha.
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S.P.
12/29/2016 09:58:16 pm
Very interesting. I always give every Rebbe the same 72 dollar check and thank you card. Maybe I should give based on performance.
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Chaim L.
12/29/2016 09:59:35 pm
What a great idea. Let the kid give it to the Rebbe. I always did it myself, but it's probably great Chinuch for my son to give it. Good call.
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Chavi
12/29/2016 10:00:45 pm
I always let my kids write the notes. Seems more "Batempt"
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Avigdor
12/29/2016 10:03:02 pm
Great Ideas. I agree with everything, except I won't give the Rebbe a card if he didn't take care of my son. Same way I won't tip a bad waiter.
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David
12/29/2016 10:09:05 pm
That's funny. I like to leave a 1 cent tip for bad service. That gets the point across.
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Avigdor
12/29/2016 10:11:25 pm
So, I should give the Rebbe a dollar? Nice! Realistically speaking, I'll stick to my way.
A Rebbe
12/29/2016 10:05:24 pm
I've been teaching for many years. I love when my Talmidim put the envelopes on my desk, it's so much more BeKovedik. Sometimes parents waltz in and hand me an envelope in front of everyone. t's horrible.
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Ariella
12/29/2016 10:08:17 pm
I had the problem a few years ago - my husband had no job and we couldn't give anything. I felt so bad giving $18.00.
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Shua M.
12/29/2016 10:20:27 pm
Very well done. I wish you would have sent this out last week. I gave my son's Rebbe a nice check with no note (I wrote Happy Chanukah in the memo).
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Sora
12/29/2016 11:44:00 pm
As a teacher I 100% agree, thank you notes are the best! I actually once had a parent hand me a $3 keychain with a gorgeous note and she apologized for not being able to do more. That gift meant more to me than other pricier gifts I received that just had happy Chanukah scribbled across in chicken scratch!
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A Rebbe
12/30/2016 06:14:35 am
Could be. However, normally, parents should give gifts or Seforim. We don't want a new coffee mug or a towel set. Cash is king.
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Shimon Lichtenstein
12/30/2016 06:09:25 am
I agree that kids should write whenever possible. It's great for the Rebbe and good Chinuch.
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Private
12/30/2016 06:10:59 am
I think it's way better to give cash then to give a check. A Rebbe confused in me that he enjoys it much more.
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Wise Parent
12/30/2016 08:41:23 am
Do you mean to tell me that a Rebbe doesn't care if he gets more or less? I think it's some form of bribery, and it affects the way the Rebbeim perceive the children. Money should not be allowed.
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Kalman S.
12/30/2016 09:14:20 am
What you call Bribery, I call Hakoras Hatov. Teachers and Rebbes are not judging our children, they're educating them. There is a huge difference.
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AuthorRabbi Yitzie Ross is a Rebbe and has been working with parents and kids for many years. You can read more about him in the "about" section. Archives
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