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Pesach Hints Round II

4/7/2017

20 Comments

 
Last year, we discussed some Seder hints. This year, we'll try building on it.


  1. It’s a great idea to have your younger ones take a nap on Erev Pesach. It won’t work if they’re all hyper, so giving them a book to read, and calling it “relaxing time”, might help. Kids don’t enjoy the Seder as much (and neither will you) when they’re overtired.
  2. If your child has a Haggada from school, take it away when they come home. Give it to them at the Seder, so they have something to entertain themselves with.
  3. While keeping proper Shiurim is very important, it might be a good idea to consult with your Rav before arguing with your 11-year-old about how much Matzah she ate.
  4. I tried playing Pesach Bingo last year – I even made up cards and everything. Suffice it to say, it was a good concept, but I won’t be repeating it.  While my goal was to keep the Seder entertaining for the kids…  I didn’t realize the adults would get so intense.
  5. Putting on skits with your spouse is always fun. You can even make teams, and see who can act out the story accurately. Sometimes, pairing off an adult with a child can make it more fun. This might be a bad idea if you or your spouse is fiercely competitive.
  6. A good question is better than a good answer.  If your children ask a question, you don’t need to answer it right away. Simply say, “That’s a great question – can you come up with an answer yourself?”  It makes them feel great, and occupies them as well.
  7. Try and keep everything age appropriate, if possible.  Five-year-old children will not sit through Maggid, and fourteen-year-olds may not want to sing Dayenu.
  8. You and your spouse can take turns going ahead in Maggid, while the other one engages the kids in fun discussions.
  9. Seating arguments? Who has the better pillow? It’s not worth getting aggravated.  This special night only happens twice a year.  Do your very best to keep all the kids happy – even if they’re not being reasonable.
  10. Try and be as prepared as possible to make everything seem more exciting.  Once they are waiting for the Matzah or Marror to be measured, they start to lose interest.
  11. If you have age discrepancies, for example a fourteen-year-old and a five-year-old, it might be hard to find common ground.  In this case, try splitting the table up.  You can talk about Pharaoh to the younger one while your spouse listens to the Divrei Torah.
  12. Having a long Seder for younger kids seems silly. The whole point of the Seder is to pique and maintain the interest of the children.  Why would you want to have a five hour Seder?  Keep it moving.  Whereas there is no magic number, 2 ½ hours is more than enough for younger kids.
  13. When Yachatz arrives, it’s Afikomen time. Let your children hide it, and you find it. Don’t use the word steal. We don’t want to condone stealing of any sort.
  14. Rewarding the kids for questions and answers is a fantastic idea.  Some parents give a small treat after their child has recited the Ma Nishtana. If you’re using food, try to stay away from candies as it hypes up the kids. The end result will be a few overtired and extremely hyperactive kids moving around their chairs at supersonic speeds while asking, “Are we there yet?”
  15. There’s a reason why children should not be drinking alcoholic beverages.  It’s not safe. I don’t even think it’s a good idea to pretend to give them alcohol (putting grape juice in the wine bottle).  Rather, give them a little bit on the bottom of their cups, and tell them when you they’re older, they can have a bit more.
  16. This one is for the dads. Most of the women I know are frantically preparing for Yom Tov by shopping, cooking, cleaning, shopping, cooking, watching kids and shopping.  (When I say shopping, I’m not talking shoe shopping online. I’m talking about going to a supermarket with ten thousand other people, parking a mile away, and fighting for the last container of tomato sauce while simultaneously watching the three younger ones.)  The Seder night is their chance to sit back and enjoy.  Yes, we certainly want the kids to enjoy.  However, we can impart a great lesson if we tell the kids, “Hey, I have an idea!  Let’s help clean the table or serve, so Mommy can feel like a free person also!” 
 
Wishing you and your family a wonderful and meaningful Pesach. This year in Yerushalayim!
​
YR
20 Comments
Chaim L.
4/7/2017 08:29:56 am

Very nice. Have a Zissen Pesach.

Reply
Sherri
4/7/2017 08:32:23 am

Here's a fun one. Don't expect the kids to stay clean. Give them nice clothes, but make the change before the Seder.

Reply
Shaya
4/7/2017 08:42:39 am

Really? I thing they SHOULD wear nice clothes at the Seder. Just be easygoing if they get dirty.

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Elisheva Semmel
4/7/2017 08:36:01 am

How about, if you really want to do things your way, stay home for Yom Tov instead of going to your parents.

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A Zaidy
4/7/2017 08:47:00 am

You sound resentful about your them coming. I love when the grandchildren (and by default I guess the kids) come. They can do whatever they want.

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Elisheva
4/7/2017 08:50:17 am

Ha. No, actually, I'm the daughter-in-law. My husband is always complaining about Minhagim he doesn't approve of. I actually enjoy the Seder. I just feel that if you don't like them seder somewhere, make your own instead of complaining.

D.G,
4/7/2017 08:37:05 am

You can make the Seder short without rushing it. In other words, don't tell your kids, we need to finish already. It's about them.

Reply
Shimon
4/7/2017 08:44:27 am

Many great ideas. I'm sorry I missed this last year, might have been a huge help.

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Private
4/7/2017 08:51:13 am

Details about the bingo game please. We want insight about what happens in your house. :-)

Reply
Chaviva Stern
4/7/2017 08:56:33 am

What do kids want as a prize instead of candy? Seriously. Should I offer them carrot sticks?

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Avrumie Lesser
4/7/2017 08:58:51 am

I enjoyed this. Particularly number 13. What's with the stealing? I never understood the concept. It's hiding the Afikomen. Why would parents want to introduce the concept of theft?

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Faigy
4/7/2017 09:26:29 am

I am curious about the Bingo game also. What could make Rabbi Ross not want to play again? I also feel very strongly that parents need to be relaxed at a meal. My mom used to compare it to a birthday party. Stay chilled.

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David R.
4/7/2017 09:30:24 am

I think everyone is curious about this. Maybe we should start a petition to get more information. How does Pesach Bingo work? I can't find it anywhere online?

Reply
Elisheva
4/7/2017 09:38:10 am

I'll start one. Yid Parenting is on Facebook. Does Rabbi Ross read these comments?

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Yiddishe Momma
4/7/2017 12:39:14 pm

Rabbi Ross reads all the comments - he approved them, didn't he? Obviously the Bingo game was not something he wants to discuss. Just focus on the rest of the list.

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Chaia Frishman
4/7/2017 09:31:43 am

I wanted to add a few things. 1. Jobs at the seder should be doled out ahead of time to avoid fighting. And yes, Ema did work hard to get to this point. But Abba did too. And this is the night for him to sit like a King and be treated as such. Mom can be the Queen too, and as anyone know, royalty has it's responsibilities. If she's exhausted and complaining how awful it is to be so busy at seder, then the positive messages won't penetrate. Make life easier. Use pretty plastic, make sure the cleaning lady is scheduled for the next day. But I think it's a privilege too to put in effort the night of the seder. Also a good idea to have a lot of corny Pesach jokes at the ready. We also use Shulchan Orech to speak out deep thoughts. Everyone can be mekable deep thoughts better on a full stomach.

Reply
Dov
4/7/2017 10:02:39 am

It's apparent we're not going to find out what happened at that bingo game. I don't think starting a petition is a good idea. If Rabbi Ross wants to explain what happened he will let us know.

Reply
Shevy
4/7/2017 10:11:58 am

Enough about the bingo game. I want to know what's happening this year at the Seder. Maybe Connect Four? Seriously, I will definitely be printing this list. Good Yuntif.

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Arieh K.
4/7/2017 12:37:19 pm

I enjoyed them all, especially the last one. Moms need a break. Let them relax at the Seder. So who will serve? The father! Kings can serve others.

Reply
Rabbi Ross
4/7/2017 12:44:47 pm

I have no problem sharing details about the BINGO games since many of you seem to care. I simply created cards with random words used at the Seder in different orders on the cards. I believe each card had about 25 words, ranging from "Marror' to "Dayenu." Anytime an adult said one of the words, a colored sticker was supposed to be used to cover it. When a row was complete, the CHILD would shout out BINGO.

Some of the guests at the table, got very involved to say the least, and began taking other's stickers, and saying words just to put them on. My kids were confused. Eventually, we had "Dayenu" being sung during Karpas which brought the game to an abrupt halt.

I'm working on a better version. Thank you all for caring.

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    Rabbi Yitzie Ross is a Rebbe and has been working with parents and kids for many years. You can read more about him in the "about" section.

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