Pesach Hints Round II

Last year, we discussed some Seder hints. This year, we'll try building on it.

1. It’s a great idea to have your younger ones take a nap on Erev Pesach. It won’t work if they’re all hyper, so giving them a book to read, and calling it “relaxing time”, might help. Kids don’t enjoy the Seder as much (and neither will you) when they’re overtired.
2. If your child has a Haggada from school, take it away when they come home. Give it to them at the Seder, so they have something to entertain themselves with.
3. While keeping proper Shiurim is very important, it might be a good idea to consult with your Rav before arguing with your 11-year-old about how much Matzah she ate.
4. I tried playing Pesach Bingo last year – I even made up cards and everything. Suffice it to say, it was a good concept, but I won’t be repeating it.  While my goal was to keep the Seder entertaining for the kids…  I didn’t realize the adults would get so intense.
5. Putting on skits with your spouse is always fun. You can even make teams, and see who can act out the story accurately. Sometimes, pairing off an adult with a child can make it more fun. This might be a bad idea if you or your spouse is fiercely competitive.
6. A good question is better than a good answer.  If your children ask a question, you don’t need to answer it right away. Simply say, “That’s a great question – can you come up with an answer yourself?”  It makes them feel great, and occupies them as well.
7. Try and keep everything age appropriate, if possible.  Five-year-old children will not sit through Maggid, and fourteen-year-olds may not want to sing Dayenu.
8. You and your spouse can take turns going ahead in Maggid, while the other one engages the kids in fun discussions.
9. Seating arguments? Who has the better pillow? It’s not worth getting aggravated.  This special night only happens twice a year.  Do your very best to keep all the kids happy – even if they’re not being reasonable.
10. Try and be as prepared as possible to make everything seem more exciting.  Once they are waiting for the Matzah or Marror to be measured, they start to lose interest.
11. If you have age discrepancies, for example a fourteen-year-old and a five-year-old, it might be hard to find common ground.  In this case, try splitting the table up.  You can talk about Pharaoh to the younger one while your spouse listens to the Divrei Torah.
12. Having a long Seder for younger kids seems silly. The whole point of the Seder is to pique and maintain the interest of the children.  Why would you want to have a five hour Seder?  Keep it moving.  Whereas there is no magic number, 2 ½ hours is more than enough for younger kids.
13. When Yachatz arrives, it’s Afikomen time. Let your children hide it, and you find it. Don’t use the word steal. We don’t want to condone stealing of any sort.
14. Rewarding the kids for questions and answers is a fantastic idea.  Some parents give a small treat after their child has recited the Ma Nishtana. If you’re using food, try to stay away from candies as it hypes up the kids. The end result will be a few overtired and extremely hyperactive kids moving around their chairs at supersonic speeds while asking, “Are we there yet?”
15. There’s a reason why children should not be drinking alcoholic beverages.  It’s not safe. I don’t even think it’s a good idea to pretend to give them alcohol (putting grape juice in the wine bottle).  Rather, give them a little bit on the bottom of their cups, and tell them when you they’re older, they can have a bit more.
16. This one is for the dads. Most of the women I know are frantically preparing for Yom Tov by shopping, cooking, cleaning, shopping, cooking, watching kids and shopping.  (When I say shopping, I’m not talking shoe shopping online. I’m talking about going to a supermarket with ten thousand other people, parking a mile away, and fighting for the last container of tomato sauce while simultaneously watching the three younger ones.)  The Seder night is their chance to sit back and enjoy.  Yes, we certainly want the kids to enjoy.  However, we can impart a great lesson if we tell the kids, “Hey, I have an idea!  Let’s help clean the table or serve, so Mommy can feel like a free person also!” 

 
Wishing you and your family a wonderful and meaningful Pesach. This year in Yerushalayim!
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YR