Parenting
  • Parenting Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact Us
  • Submit a Question
  • Index
  • Signup

Winter Shock!

12/28/2017

14 Comments

 
Rabbi Ross. My wife & I have started reading this column weekly, and we enjoy it tremendously. We feel that you have a good grasp of what’s going on, and your advice is very helpful. You wrote a column last year about families in a specific location going away for mid-winter break, and I wanted to ask a bit further. We don’t go away since we both work, and logistically it won’t work out. Therefore, we have four children at home that are bored with “Nothing to do”. Any recommendation that won’t break the bank? It seems that many mid-winter camps are popping up, but we can’t afford or justify spending almost fifteen hundred dollars altogether, so our children shouldn’t be bored. Do the Yeshivos realize what they’re doing to us? What are your thoughts? Yanky – Flatbush

First of all, thank you for your kinds words. The column you’re referring to was written last January – you can click here to read it. Your question has two parts.  First of all, you want to know what working parents should be doing with their children when they are home from school.  Secondly, you are wondering why the Yeshivos give off.

To answer your first question, yes, there are ideas I can share with you. Most of them won’t break the bank, although they might take some time to set up.
  1. Setting up playdates is a great idea. It would be wise to do this very far in advance, with other like-minded parents.  Obviously, you need to make sure there is appropriate supervision wherever your children end up. Transportation might be an issue, but if you set this up weeks ahead, you shouldn’t have that much of a problem.
  2. Hiring a babysitter is another solution that many families opt for. This won’t take away the “bored” issue, but it’ll help in the supervision department. It might also help if you find a neighbor that has the same problem. You can split the costs and your kids can have a change of scenery.
  3. You mentioned that you and your wife work. If you could each take off one day, that covers two days, and gives your kids some great Mommy and Abba time.  I’m sure taking off a day isn’t easy, but it’s certainly worth it. There are so many day trips which your kids would enjoy, especially if it meant spending the day with you.  Some examples include, museums, parks, ice-skating or bowling.  Additionally, it might be a wonderful opportunity to visit an elderly (great) grandparent or relative.  Concluding the day with a trip to the ice-cream store would leave the kids feeling accomplished, wonderful and satisfied. 😊
  4. If your kids are old enough (or if you have teenagers that are off from school), you can help them create a schedule. Structure is key. What minyan they should go to, breakfast, quiet time, electronics, playing outside, getting together with friends etc.  You can include outings, such as bowling/pizza.   While your kids are at home, I would suggest having a neighbor keep an eye out, or at the very least calling and checking up constantly. You can also insist they call you every hour or so.
  5. If you have enough neighbors in the same boat, you can pool your resources. Instead of sending them away and spending a few hundred dollars, you can hire a high school boy to do something with all of them.  It’ll be a lot cheaper, and they’ll have more individualized attention.
Your second question stumped me. I know some Yeshivos don’t give several days off, rather, they have a few extended weekends. This year, the timing is a bit funny, since many Yeshivos just gave off a few days for Chanukah, and now they’re providing a break for mid-winter as well.

However, a little time off isn’t a bad thing.  It gives Rebbeim and teachers a chance to recharge their batteries. It also gives the kids a break from school, and time to unwind. It’s not easy on the parents all the time, but I’m pretty sure that Yeshivos have been giving this vacation for many years. As kids, you probably loved it, so it’s not really fair to complain now that it’s an inconvenience.

You should certainly not complain about it in front of your children. If you display disrespect towards the Yeshiva your children attend in front of them, you really can’t expect them to take it seriously. If it really bothers you, call up the Yeshiva and ask the Menahel or principal what the logic is.  

Enjoy your vacation and have a good Shabbos!

YR
14 Comments
Shmuel B.
12/28/2017 07:00:52 pm

What most impressive, is that you tell it like it is. When you were kids, you loved the vacation. Now you hate it? You can't have it both ways! Let your kids enjoy!

Reply
Ariella Sacks
12/28/2017 07:07:49 pm

Many Yeshivos offer activities during Mid-winter vacation. If you tell the Yeshiva you can't afford it, I'm sure they'll work with you.

Reply
Dovid Tanner
12/28/2017 07:12:17 pm

I know the person who asked the question. We discussed this, and he told me he was asking you. I am not surprised by your answer, although I wonder why you didn't include anything about Chavrusos or being Kovea Etim. Wouldn't that make sense for a Jewish Parenting tip?

Reply
David S.
12/28/2017 07:19:30 pm

It says in the e-mail vatichi instead of Vayichi. Auto Correct?

Reply
Efraim Blinder
12/28/2017 07:21:17 pm

Mine says Vayichi. Anyway, great stuff. not a big fan of these vacations, but my kids are. Visiting grandparents is always a great idea.

Reply
Private
12/28/2017 08:59:00 pm

It’s a fair question. Not the first part, but the second part. Why in the world do Yeshiva’s give off? There’s not reason! Parents don’t want it. We pay tuition for learning not days off!

Reply
Rivky & Tuvia Breuer
12/28/2017 09:02:14 pm

We did not have yeshiva week as kids, at least not where we came from, we had friday-mon/tues and maybe 1-2% of the kids went anywhere. The question is where/when/why did "Yeshiva" week become an additional Yom tov? One that requires you to get on an airplane to fulfill?

Reply
Retired Parent
12/31/2017 10:10:29 pm

The Yeshiva where I went to HS half a century ago had a week exactly halfway through the school year. However, we did get any days off in December, including Chanukkah.
Your last sentence raises an excellent point, the nature of Yeshiva week is that it puts much more pressure on parents to spend money , much more than summer vacation. Summer vacation about seventy days, so there is no particular day that he has to take off in order to not stick out socially, making these mandatory vacations just makes it even more difficult to be a Yid.

Reply
Shmuel Taliyev
12/28/2017 09:05:04 pm

A few thoughts. I thought this was a great article. However it’s important to recognize why we really have vacation. It’s free days for the school. Saves money. Also, in response to the fellow who wanted learning, no ones stopping your kids from learning. If you need to see it written to do it, something’s a tad off.

Reply
A Retired Bubby and Zaidy
12/28/2017 09:09:30 pm

As always, Rabbi Ross delivers a wonderful response. We are both also confused about this vacation. It seems that Jewish people are OK with everything these days. 50 years ago, this would never have worked. Why don't all the parents on these "Group What Up Chats" decide to call out the Yeshivas?

Reply
Michael Beyda
12/28/2017 09:15:06 pm

First time commenter. I'm somewhat confused about this as well. It seems that the Yeshivas are under the impression that parents want these days off. Or it could be that if 1/3 the class takes off, it'll affect the learning. Who knows. The best way to find out is as Rabbi Ross says. Ask. It irks me when people discuss things instead of finding out the facts. It could also be that each yeshiva has different reasons.

Reply
Retired Parent
12/31/2017 10:15:52 pm

I remember about 25 years ago when a moderate chareidi school gave off a day or two,essentially a long weekend during Yeshiva week, they received pressure from their machers to enable them to take the wealthy vacations . They of course switched to Yeshiva week which had started as a Modern Orthodox invention

Reply
Nachum Aryeh
12/28/2017 10:57:20 pm

Structure is key. That's the point I've been telling teachers for years. It's not about recess or being funny. It's having a structured classroom. Kids love structure, and that gives children a sense of security. Well written as usual.

Reply
Anonymous
12/28/2017 11:07:51 pm

This comment is really off topic. You mentioned to prepare in advance the transportation. These days people are so irresponsible that it wouldn't really matter. I've prepared events with carpools months in advance only to be canceled upon a day before the event. It's a different generation.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Rabbi Yitzie Ross is a Rebbe and has been working with parents and kids for many years. You can read more about him in the "about" section.

    Archives

    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016

    Categories

    All

Home

Donate

Sign Up

Blog

Contact

Copyright © 2020
  • Parenting Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact Us
  • Submit a Question
  • Index
  • Signup