Parshas Pekudai - 5776
Help! My kids (ages 4,7,9 & 12) don’t stop fighting! I really think that my kids fight more than any other siblings in the world ever did, and I feel like I’m losing control. We’re talking fights about who sits where, who played more iPad, and even who’s annoying whom. I’m all ears for some suggestions. Estie - Cedarhurst I highly doubt the fighting is the worst I’ve ever heard of between siblings. Many years ago, when Hashem created the world, there were two siblings named Kayin and Hevel. How did that work out? How about Yitzchok & Yishmael? Yaakov & Eisav? Yosef and his brothers? I could keep going, but you get the point. Throughout history we find that siblings sometimes don’t get along. It seems that you are dealing with the same issues that just about all parents confront. Your kids fight non-stop, and you are getting frustrated. The good news is; in most cases they will grow out of it. I fought with my siblings more than once in a while, and now we get along great. All this notwithstanding, it can be so exasperating watching kids argue or fight. In most cases, there is an instigator and a “victim”. Often that child (the victim) feels the need to defend himself, and will resort to using his hands. So it begins. Telling your child to ignore a sibling that’s annoying or irritating them is very difficult. These days, kids are more sensitive. It could be due to the decreasing amount of social interactions, but children seem to have a more difficult time ignoring others. In any case, I’ll give you a few ideas on how to be proactive and prevent the fighting/arguing, and some other hints on what to do when the fighting does occur. Preventative Measures
IY”H, your kinderlach will get older and mature, and will truly enjoy spending time with their siblings. YR
12 Comments
Danny
3/10/2016 05:14:10 pm
Wow! Another great article! My wife & I stop our day when these e-mails comes in!
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Jenny Wexler
3/10/2016 05:46:55 pm
Great Article. Thank you for including us in this e-mail notification.
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Alan
3/10/2016 05:48:17 pm
The real problems begin when 2 kids gang up on a 3rd one. How do you handle that?
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Rabbi Ross
3/11/2016 07:17:00 am
Great Question. That's a whole different discussion, since usually it's the same child getting picked on every time. That can have long-lasting repercussions and must be dealt with. The goal is to ensure that this 3rd child does not feel excluded on a constant basis.
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Private
3/10/2016 05:55:42 pm
I couldn't agree more. Sibling Rivalry is very frustrating, but the best medicine is time. Just don't let it get out of control.
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Robert Tannenbaum
3/10/2016 06:25:38 pm
Another great article. Thank you.
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Aryeh
3/10/2016 07:05:42 pm
Fantastic. These are all good points.
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M.Y.A.
3/10/2016 09:49:44 pm
Another great and practical discussion. By the way, on a long trip, license plates can still work. My kids have counted over 40 states when we only went to Ohio and back to New York.
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Rabbi Ross
3/11/2016 07:19:30 am
That's great! unfortunately, most kids would not be interested these days. On our road trip last year with the older 4 boys, we tried singing along with the music. Avraham Fried can hit some high notes.
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Daniel L.
3/11/2016 06:50:28 am
Well written, and thought-provoking article. Great job as usual!
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Elana
3/11/2016 07:02:58 am
This is a wonderful article. I would add that it's super important to make sure that younger children don't learn fighting habits from their older siblings. When the otder ones fight, you can reiterate to the younger ones that it's unacceptable.
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Tully Aurbach
3/11/2016 07:13:45 am
Parents should also understand that sometimes kids fight. It's part of the maturing process. Nice Article.
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AuthorRabbi Yitzie Ross is a Rebbe and has been working with parents and kids for many years. You can read more about him in the "about" section. Archives
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