Social Media Part II

Last week, we began discussing the dangers of children and social media. We left you with the following 4 questions:

1. Do we have the right to know our children’s passwords?
2. Is it wrong to install software that monitors our children’s usage, including screen shots? 
3. If we do install monitoring software, do we need to tell them about it?  
4. If my child shows me inappropriate comments from another  child in the neighborhood, am I obligated to tell their parents?

Parents who allow their children to use social media need to be keenly aware of how their children are utilizing this new technology.  It is also important for children to realize that, although they have their own phone and the freedom to use social media, it comes with certain expectations and boundaries.  

To reiterate, this e-mail is directed at parents who allow their children to utilize social media on their electronic devices. I’m not judging. I’m not condoning. I’m simply offering some  guidelines and hints that can help both you and your children learn to use social media in a safe, responsible, and appropriate fashion. 

1. All electronic devices must be charged in your bedroom at night. This will keep your children from using it at night, and give you a chance to check their social media activity.
2. Put monitoring software on the phone, and tell them you put it on. This will make them think twice before sending anything questionable.
3. Insist that you, as the parent, always know the passcode for your child’s smart phone. A good passcode is important to have on a smartphone. Don’t tell your kids, “No passcodes.” They protects the phone in case it’s ever lost or stolen.
4. Check all text messages.  Scroll through conversations to see what their friends are talking about and how your children respond. If you have questions about the conversation, talk it out with your child. You can  ignore the immature or silly conversations.  Focus more on anything that seems “off”.  
5. “Follow” one another. Your child should not be allowed to have a social media page unless they follow you and you follow them. In other words, you need to see anything they post publicly. 
6. Have a smartphone and electronic device curfew. Take all of them every night at bedtime. You can make exceptions, but those should be rare.
7. Set restrictions on electronic device usage.  No electronic devices are allowed at the dinner table. No electronic devices are allowed during homework time. Put up signs in their rooms to remind them.
8.  All Social media pages must be private. Instruct your children not to post their full name, address, phone number, birthday, name of school, their grade in school, or any personally identifiable information in their profiles. They should not accept “follow” requests or “friend” requests from people they do not know. It is not a popularity contest.
9.  We need to look out for each other. If you feel that a your child’s friend is sending inappropriate pictures or texts, you might want to tell his/her parents.
10. Use filters & restrictions. Most devices have a separate passcode for restrictions. Utilize this feature to ensure your children don’t purchase anything inappropriate.
11. Learn their habits. Your children will develop a cycle of electronic use. You should be able to identify the most common times they “disconnect”. Is it boredom? It is downtime? See if you can give more productive, non-electronic  alternatives.
12. No Surveys. Teach your children about the dangers of surveys that popup in these apps. They try and steal all sorts of personal information. Make sure they are aware of the dangers out there.
13. Be a good example. Show your children that you also put your devices away at family gatherings. Teaching by example is the best way! The calls, emails and texts can wait until later.
14. Last and most importantly, understand the apps they are using. Facebook is not used as much anymore. Instagram is also beginning to lose its status. Snapchat is growing rapidly. Whatever they are using, make sure you learn how it works and all the tricks.

Wishing you hatzlacha and a good Shabbos
YR
 
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